OUR CHRISTMAS LETTER - 2013

Well...

It's been way too long since we have added to this blog.

Maybe a gentle reminder that we were just barely holding on...

So much so that it never even occured to us (well me, Debbie...) to write here.

You see...  

Social media is tricky...

We share and see the good times... and sometimes the vulnerable times...

But rarely the hard times...

And definitely not the the times when we are confused or feel hopeless...

Our late Christmas letter is a picture of where we have been as a family for the past few years...

It is raw, and real, and hard... and amazing, and grace filled, and hope giving...

Full of miracles... that we never thought we'd need...

Grief ridden, yet HOPE FILLED and full of God's promises...

MCINDOE CHRISTMAS LETTER 2013

Dear friends and family,

Yea…  I’ve been thinking we wouldn’t write a Christmas letter this year…

It’s been a rough one… well actually two…

But something keeps nagging me…  “Write the letter…”

What do I write about?  Things haven’t gone as we had planned or envisioned…

Embarrassed, Ashamed, Sad, Angry, Hopeless…

A roller coaster of emotions…

How do we write about that?

This is suppose to be a MERRY Christmas letter…

Ya know?

Yet, as I sit to write, I am remembering that Christmas is about the birth of Christ…

(Not about me…)

And somehow – in loose association, If You Give a Moose a Muffin, by Laura Numeroff, popped into my head…  So…(stick with me here!) without further a do…

 IF YOU GIVE THE MCINDOES A MIRACLE (or 10)

If you give the McIndoes a miracle (or 10)

Deb will wish they didn’t need it… (them)

And wishing they didn’t need a miracle (or 10)

She’ll decide they did something terribly wrong…

And when she decides they did something wrong

She will cry, and blame herself (or Pete, or the children, or the lady in Kroger…)

And when she gets on that roller coaster…

It ain’t easy, and she wishes she knew what to do…

After awhile, she will realize she has NO IDEA what to do

And she remembers her husband is an amazing, faith filled man…

And he will lead her and their family to remember and trust God’s faithfulness…

And when she remembers and trusts God’s faithfulness

She gets up early and thinks maybe she should write the Christmas letter after all…

And then she remembers a few years ago

When God blessed her family with Heidy and Andres… and a new job, and a move…

And an amazing home, and wonderful friends… old and new…

And she starts to see the bigger picture…

And she purposes to seek and trust God for that “Peace that passes understanding…”

And in seeking and trusting, she receives it!

She will think of two of her children (Heidy and Andres)

Now living with friends two hours away… And hold back tears..

Because “What kind of mother is ok with her kids living with another family?”

And she will remember the great day they just had together

And that even if they are living in different homes… They are all still a family…

She will realize… again… that when one, or two, have  never been in a family…

And come home to a large family…

The stakes are high, old ways don’t work anymore, and coping is confusing…

And they all… all 10… try, and try, and try to “Get it right…”

But “Getting it right” doesn’t look close to anything she ever envisioned…

And it’ is hard… very hard…

  

And she will remember… that this is God’s story, not hers…

And that God is being glorified…a very “religious” term, but true non-the-less

And that His ways are not always conventional, easy, or even acceptable to some…

And then she will sigh, and smile…

As she thinks of how thankful she is for their dear friends in Little Rock…

Who instantly came alongside her family, to serve…

And cook, and send scripture, and drive kids, and host, and pray, and give, and encourage…

And their dear friends in Searcy… And their friend’s amazing Searcy community…

Who have “Been preparing for something big… But just didn’t know what it was…”

She will realize (again) that  Jeremiah 29:11 is true and real!

“For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future!”

And when she thinks of Jeremiah 29:11

She remembers the confusion over the past two years with work, and school, and budgets, and parenting, and relationships stretched, and friend’s and families’ struggles…

… And she can (almost) give “Thanks in all circumstances!”

And when she is giving thanks…

She remembers how God has loved her family through people:

People at FamilyLife, in her neighborhood, in co-op, in church, in other states…

Bosses, and friends, and acquaintances, and people they just met…

Or don’t even know…

And she smiles and realizes (again) that Yes!  This IS God’s story!

And it’s messy, and hard, and doesn’t fit in a nice little box, with a bow on the top…

But then again… would she really want it to? 

And when embarrassment, or shame, or anger, or hopelessness peak in…

Deb decides to push those away… and rest in the Truth…

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus…

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…

I know the plans I have for you (and those you love)…

Joy comes in the morning…

And when she “Thinks upon these things…”

She remembers that Christmas is about Jesus’ birth…so he could die…

So he would rise again…

So that we (collectively – you too!) could have Life… and have it to the fullest!

Yes, When God gives the McIndoes a miracle (or 10)

Deb will wish they didn’t need it (them)!

But after that… she’ll trust in God’s plan, provision and faithfulness…

Even, and especially, if it’s messy, and hard, and doesn’t come in a nice little box

With a bow on the top…

Best Birthday Ever!

The Best Birthday Ever!

This year, beginning with my birthday yesterday, our family started a new tradition that was amazing…

        We gave creative birthday gifts that cost no money!

I know, not rocket science, but definitely a new path for us!

To be honest, Pete and I struggled as we considered changing long held beliefs, habits and traditions.  After all, birthdays are about buying presents... right?  This is the trap we had found ourselves in.  And, we realized, we were teaching and modeling the same lies to our children.  We talked, and we listened, and we prayed. 

We had been on a roller coaster beginning with our second child.  Each child could save, or we would help them buy an inexpensive birthday gift for their sibling.  I'll never forget Olivia as I sat on the floor with her at the 2nd hand shop.  She was just shy of three years old.  She had 3 quarters and she was trying to decide if she was going to buy the $.50 gift, or the $.75 cent gift for Peter.  I explained that if she chose the $.75 cent gift, she would have no quarters left.  To which she replied... "That's ok mommy, I have more teeth!"  

 Over the years we just kept on the same path.  Never revisited it... never questioned the status quo. However, as God gifted us with children, birthdays were filled with each of them wanting to give just the right/perfect present to each other.  There was anxiety about money to buy gifts, anxiety about when each would get to shop, and anxiety about whether the recipient would like the gift one had chosen. 

Pete and I wondered what a birthday would look without store bought gifts.     

So... we went for it!

Pete explained to our children that we thought it would be fun to celebrate  birthdays without the children buying us a gift, and without them buying each other a gift.  For their birthdays, Pete and I would give them a few special treasures from their lists, but we were asking them to be creative as they considered what they would give to each other this year... nothing that cost money!  We were actually a  little surprised when they easily went with the flow, did not push back and genuinely seemed peaceful, excited and content!

As my birthday approached, I was really looking forward to the 

     creativity that seemed to be growing in our home.

I woke up excited hearing Rachel and Heidy in the kitchen giggling.

                    They had gotten up at 5am to decorate!

             We had an absolutely delightful day! 

I laughed… and I cried… as I opened each personal creation from my family. 

The best part was… I felt known…  really known…

...And Celebrated and Loved!

These were not trinkets from a store... These were gifts/ treasures from my children's hearts!

My family gave me coupons for foot rubs, making dinner, mommy time, back rubs, chores, movies, games, hugs and more!  

But the very best part was how they were presented…

From Pete

Foot rubs, movies, date walks, and quite time in my room... by myself!

He knows me.  It is an amazing gift to really be known and loved in spite of all my short comings...   ...Just saying.

From Emily

 Coupons for “4 nights of making dinner, 4 dancing for you whenever you want, and making breakfast and lunch 4 times!” 

The best part was she did dance for me, at the end of our evening… to my very, most favorite song… “I am Blessed” by Rachel Lampa.   Simply beautiful and brings tears to my eyes every time.

From Peter 

“Four hours of introvert time!  With family consent!!!”

“Jesus had over 3 days of introvert time… and look at him now!”

From Rachel

 

  

Rachel organized all of my recipes into a notebook she found that she titled "Good Times from the kitchen's eyes"!  She also gave me “cu-pons” for lots of things… hugs, snuggles, making dinner, cleaning…   All with an expiration date of 3 - 12 - 3217!!!  

 

                                       From Joshua

Joshua worked hard on this one!  Love that boy!

From Matthew

Matthew gave me free foot rubs that he later told me he would do when we watched a family movie, and… sweet boy…  he gave me his Wendy’s gift card that he got for Christmas.    I know that was hard to part with.  That's what made it so very special.   

 From Olivia

Olivia made this card at Mrs. Leland’s house when I was in Colombia bringing Heidy and Andres home.  "Dreams come a size too big so we an grow into them.

And a part of what she wrote… … “And 48 is not that old anyway! 

From Andres

 At the top he tells me he is sorry about the loss of my dad.  Then he tells me happy birthday and that he will do any chore I ask him too.  But the best part is his closing… in English…

"For my love, Mom"

From Heidy 

An amazing, transparent letter from Heidy…  She writes: 

“I love you very much…  and you look like my own mother.  Jesus said in my heart that I have a family here… and I am very happy.  But, I am sad that my father died.

And I decided that you can be the princess forever in the house… 

I love you more than you think.  I love you mom.

Having many children is fun because you play much with you us… and you have patience.  

I love much as Jesus Loves me very much!”

Lastly,  traditionally for birthdays in our family Peter creates a scavenger hunt for the birthday person.  This time he wrote:  “This hunt is different.  It will take you through your past hectic year!”

(Imagine me running up the stairs to find the next clue.... then down the stairs for the next clue... then to the back room for the next one...  then back up stairs etc...  All with 8 children and Pete excitedly following me!)

“ Debbie! God here!  I just came to be the host of your 48^th birthday scavenger hunt!  

Wow!  49 years, I remember you when you were just a baby! Anyway, in this hunt the different clues will take you through your past hectic year!  Enjoy!"

(Check under blu-ray machine for your next clue.)

“Hello!  Jesus, and the Holy Spirit here!  

We’re here because us two and God decided to take you on a journey in

 your 48^th year.  We were there when  it all started!”

( Check basement dish receiver for your next hint.)

“Hola Madre!  Me and Heidy are here in Colombia waiting for you! 

If you could come quickly that would be amazing!  We're here, in Colombia,  because this is where we were at the beginning of 2011.  I'm guessing that you were looking something like this too, waiting for the paperwork to get done.”

( Check Wii for your next clue.)

“ HI Debbie, this is me again, Jesus.  This is me, the Holy Spirit, God and your dad celebrating the moment he entered heaven!”

( Check your room for the next one.)

“Hi Deb, I am here because I am one of the people that Pete interviewed with for FamilyLife.”

( Check under your pillow for the next clue.)

“Hi Debbie, this is me, Constanza, right after I finalized the adoption paperwork.  

It took long hours, loads of coffee, and sleepless nights… but it is done!”

(Go to the toilet in your room for the next clue.)   

From the flight attendant on the way home with Heidy and Andres… 

Pete is there  “In spirit” b/c he and the children were  back home in Ohio.

“ Hello Debbie! It was a joy watching you and your family fly back to Ohio!”

(You will find your next clue behind the picture of the sunset in the upstairs hallway.)

From Pete:  

“Hi Honey!  This moment last year was one of the hardest, yet most important. 

 “Welcome to Arkansas.”

( Check the chair in the front room for your next clue.)

 From our Arkansas realtor, Celeste:

“Hello Deb!  Celeste here!  This is one of the final parts of your past year!”

( Check-out under Joshua's bed for the next clue.)

 Debbie!  I hope you enjoyed the year I had planned for you!  

And I hope that you’ll enjoy all of others that I have for you too!  Happy B-day!”

Wow... 

As I read these gifts last night, amid the joy and excitement, I was taken with the worldview from which our children wrote.  I was SO blessed to enjoy our children’s creativity and joy, and doubly blessed to experience a window into their hearts!

 Yup… This Was Absolutely The Best Birthday Ever!

GIVING THANKS!

                                                        HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

We have been in our new home now for ...  hmmm...  it will be three weeks on Tuesday!
Although we have many boxes still left to unpack, we are quite settled, and even got to do a few full days of school last week!

This was our first Thanksgiving ever with just our family.  We had a wonderful day! Let's see... there was parade watching, air soft wars, games, facebook, Skype, giggles,  a few tears, phone calls, dancing, resting, cooking, snuggling, movie watching, exploring...  etc...

Each of the children picked a dish to help me prepare so I has special time with each of them throughout the day.  Of course, that means we ended up with a turkey and 8 side dishes!  Good thing we are invited to a "Left Over" party today, the day after Thanksgiving, so we can share our bounty!

The drive to Arkansas was fun... mostly.  The children did really well.  Gotta admit there were a few tears on and off as we got closer to Little Rock and our move began to feel more and more real.  A little comic relief helped though...  like the children dancing on the trailer!

We are content and happy...    that Peace that passes understanding...
It is a wonder to me that we can be grieving, and even healing from all the change we have had this past year and a half, and deeply celebrating as well.

Each of us has had our set of losses...
Losing my dad, Heidy and Andres losing all that was familiar to them - then losing all that was sort of familiar to them..., changing jobs - homes - churches - co-ops, communities...

The second week here both Pete and I had a few days of emotion that seemed at times like it was all too much.  This past year has been a lot...   and we were, and still are tired.   God has brought us to a place of rest though.  It feels good to not have any big changes on the horizon; to be peaceful, and spending our time bonding, nesting, cooking...  moving towards the still waters...   Experiencing God's restoration...

As we got closer to our home, Pete started to getting worried that I would not like the house.
( He put in an offer without me seeing it...  except in pictures.)

I was ready to be dissapointed...  I think I stealed myself to be dissapointed.  I knew we would be ok.  I believed this house was God's provision for us, but my stomach was turning as we got closer and closer.  Pete had told me we had a pretty drive to our house, but when I asked about a post office, or a bank, or a pharmacy, he consistently said our home was about 15 minutes away from anything! I was getting nervous.  However, to my delight, I love the drive and I love everything about our new home!  Really, everything!  Of course, there are things that need to be fixed, like anywhere, but the layout, the color, the setting...  for us, is simply amazing - and even in these past 3 weeks, I have not once wished we lived anywhere else!

This is a picture of what I see in the morning when I walk.  From our home, to here,  the top of this hill, is .5 miles.  From home to here and back is a beautiful, peaceful, life giving mile!

Our neighborhood is hard to explain.  Each house has a few acres around it.  Kind of like our home in Mason, but not on a busy street and more homes as we drive into our neighborhood.  We live on a culde-sac at the end of the neighborhood at the top of a hill.  The children could be outside all day biking, scootering, playing basketball, exploring, getting to know a few friends.

Beginning the first evening we were here, and straight through till the day before Thanksgiving, neighbors and friends from Family Life have brought us dinners, breads and cakes.  People here outwardly value people.  Our driveway is a bit long and up a hill, yet sometimes we look outside to see a new neighbor, whom we have not met yet, walking up to our door, often with their families, to welcome us.  The other night a lady from Family Life called.  Pete does not even know her, but she wanted to welcome us to Little Rock and phoned to pop over and bring us a few loaves of bread she had made.

God has taken care of all of our needs...  before we even knew we had needs.  We did not have a refrigerator for over a week.  Neighbors offered for us to use their fridge in their garage, and brought us a small fridge too.  There is a delightful home school family that lives down the street.  We have not had  internet until this past week, and they invited Peter and Olivia down to do school at their house so they could keep us with Pep. Emily and Rachel went and did school too.   Our family was invited to a new freind's home for cookies and games.   We learned a new game with them that we now play almost daily at our house!

From Neiva, Tenjo and Bogota, Colombia, to Mason, Ohio - to Little Rock Arkansas -
Gods' people are truly everywhere...  ready to love and serve!
Thank you!

Joshua found a way to protect the grill before it rained b/c we had not yet found the grill cover!

                                          Having fun unpacking!  Has anyone seen Heidy?

                                         A huge trash truck getting rid of all the boxes etc...
                                        In Arkansas the field trips come right to your house!

As we drove into Little Rock that first night, and stopped to eat, Heidy and Andres noticed theses three cars, parked next to each other - the colors of the Colombian flag!

Three cozy girls!

Thank you ALL...   

We sincerely love and appreciate all of your prayers, kindness and pratical help this past year and a half. 

It has been a  journey we would of never predicted just 2 years ago!