The Best Birthday Ever!
This year, beginning with my birthday yesterday, our family started a new tradition that was amazing…
We gave creative birthday gifts that cost no money!
I know, not rocket science, but definitely a new path for us!
To be honest, Pete and I struggled as we considered changing long held beliefs, habits and traditions. After all, birthdays are about buying presents... right? This is the trap we had found ourselves in. And, we realized, we were teaching and modeling the same lies to our children. We talked, and we listened, and we prayed.
We had been on a roller coaster beginning with our second child. Each child could save, or we would help them buy an inexpensive birthday gift for their sibling. I'll never forget Olivia as I sat on the floor with her at the 2nd hand shop. She was just shy of three years old. She had 3 quarters and she was trying to decide if she was going to buy the $.50 gift, or the $.75 cent gift for Peter. I explained that if she chose the $.75 cent gift, she would have no quarters left. To which she replied... "That's ok mommy, I have more teeth!"
Over the years we just kept on the same path. Never revisited it... never questioned the status quo. However, as God gifted us with children, birthdays were filled with each of them wanting to give just the right/perfect present to each other. There was anxiety about money to buy gifts, anxiety about when each would get to shop, and anxiety about whether the recipient would like the gift one had chosen.
Pete and I wondered what a birthday would look without store bought gifts.
So... we went for it!
Pete explained to our children that we thought it would be fun to celebrate birthdays without the children buying us a gift, and without them buying each other a gift. For their birthdays, Pete and I would give them a few special treasures from their lists, but we were asking them to be creative as they considered what they would give to each other this year... nothing that cost money! We were actually a little surprised when they easily went with the flow, did not push back and genuinely seemed peaceful, excited and content!
As my birthday approached, I was really looking forward to the
creativity that seemed to be growing in our home.
I woke up excited hearing Rachel and Heidy in the kitchen giggling.
They had gotten up at 5am to decorate!
We had an absolutely delightful day!
I laughed… and I cried… as I opened each personal creation from my family.
The best part was… I felt known… really known…
...And Celebrated and Loved!
These were not trinkets from a store... These were gifts/ treasures from my children's hearts!
My family gave me
coupons for foot rubs, making dinner, mommy time, back rubs, chores, movies,
games, hugs and more!
But the very best part
was how they were presented…
From Pete
Coupons
for “4 nights of making dinner, 4 dancing for you whenever you want, and making
breakfast and lunch 4 times!”
The best part was she
did dance for me, at the end of our evening… to my very, most favorite song… “I am Blessed” by Rachel Lampa. Simply beautiful and brings tears to my eyes every time.
From Peter
“Four
hours of introvert time! With family
consent!!!”
“Jesus had over 3
days of introvert time… and look at him now!”
From Rachel
Rachel organized all of my recipes into a notebook she
found that she titled "Good Times from the kitchen's eyes"! She also gave me “cu-pons” for
lots of things… hugs, snuggles, making dinner, cleaning… All with an
expiration date of 3 - 12 - 3217!!!
From Joshua
Joshua worked hard on
this one! Love that boy!
From Matthew
Matthew gave me free
foot rubs that he later told me he would do when we watched a family movie,
and… sweet boy… he gave me his Wendy’s
gift card that he got for Christmas. I know that was hard to part with. That's what made it so very special.
Olivia made this card
at Mrs. Leland’s house when I was in Colombia bringing Heidy and Andres home. "Dreams come a size too big so we an grow into them.
And a part of what she wrote… … “And 48 is not
that old anyway!
"For my love, Mom"
An amazing,
transparent letter from Heidy… She writes:
“I love you very
much… and you look like my own
mother. Jesus said in my heart that I
have a family here… and I am very happy.
But, I am sad that my father died.
And I decided that
you can be the princess forever in the house…
I love you more than
you think. I love you mom.
Having many children
is fun because you play much with you us… and you have patience.
I love much as Jesus Loves me very much!”
Lastly, traditionally for
birthdays in our family Peter creates a scavenger hunt for the birthday
person. This time he wrote: “This hunt is different. It will take you
through your past hectic year!”
(Imagine me running up the stairs to find the next clue.... then down the stairs for the next clue... then to the back room for the next one... then back up stairs etc... All with 8 children and Pete excitedly following me!)
“ Debbie! God here! I
just came to be the host of your 48th birthday scavenger hunt!
Wow!
49 years, I remember you when you were just a baby! Anyway, in this hunt the different clues will take you through your past hectic year! Enjoy!"
(Check under blu-ray machine for your next clue.)
“Hello! Jesus, and the Holy Spirit here!
We’re here because us two and God decided to
take you on a journey in
your 48th year. We were there when it all started!”
( Check basement dish receiver for your next hint.)
“Hola Madre! Me and Heidy are here in Colombia waiting for
you!
If you could come quickly that
would be amazing! We're here, in Colombia, because this is where we were at the beginning of 2011. I'm guessing that you were looking something like this too, waiting for the paperwork to get done.”
( Check Wii for your next clue.)
“ HI Debbie, this is
me again, Jesus. This is me, the Holy
Spirit, God and your dad celebrating the moment he entered heaven!”
( Check your room for the next one.)
“Hi Deb, I am here
because I am one of the people that Pete interviewed with for FamilyLife.”
( Check under your pillow for the next clue.)
“Hi Debbie, this is
me, Constanza, right after I finalized the adoption paperwork.
It took long hours, loads of coffee, and
sleepless nights… but it is done!”
(Go to the toilet in your room for the next clue.)
From the flight
attendant on the way home with Heidy and Andres…
Pete is there “In spirit” b/c he and the children were back home in Ohio.
“ Hello Debbie! It was a joy
watching you and your family fly back to Ohio!”
(You will find your next clue behind the picture of the sunset in the upstairs hallway.)
From Pete:
“Hi Honey! This moment last year was one of the hardest, yet most important.
“Welcome to Arkansas.”
( Check the chair in the front room for your next clue.)
“Hello Deb! Celeste here! This is one of the
final parts of your past year!”
( Check-out under Joshua's bed for the next clue.)
And I hope that you’ll enjoy all of others that I have for you too! Happy B-day!”
Wow...
As I read these gifts
last night, amid the joy and excitement, I was taken with the worldview from
which our children wrote. I was SO blessed to enjoy our children’s creativity and joy, and
doubly blessed to experience a window into their hearts!
